Saturday, December 24, 2005
Merry.... Happy... err... whatever. Current mood: devious
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Screw it....Here's wishing all of You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
P.S. Can you tell I work at a Bank???
Thursday, September 29, 2005
naked Current mood: pensive
some of my writing...
I fall at your feet
My head on the ground
humble from defeat
no one around
begging for mercy
screaming for pain
I know I'm not worthy
I'm going insane
digging for blood
praying for screams
laying in mud
torn at the seams
scratching my soul
bleeding it dry
it's taking its toll
I'm refusing to cry
Don’t tell me of love everlasting
or others sad dreams I don’t want to hear
but tell me of two strangers who rescue each other from a lifetime of fears
Because if Love means forever,
expecting nothing returned
Then I hope I'll be given another lifetime to learn
I kept
they say that love is blind, but I was only blind to you
I held your hand thinking we could make it through
and I kept hoping with that last hope you gave
and I kept thinking that there was something yet to save
but I thought that I could take control of you and set me free
but I was in love with you
and you were in love with ecstasy
can you look at me now and say I’m just where you though I’d be? I'm not dying, I'm not crying.... I'm ok with the thought of no "us"... just me. -k
Currently listening: Nico By Blind Melon Release date: 12 November, 1996
Monday, August 15, 2005
Shake n Bake Current mood: scared
Ok ya... I guess I'm writing this because I was just scared shiftless... I was sitting in my living room folding laundry and watching season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (highly recommended) for the umpteenth time when I got really dizzy. I stood up to look at our earthquake bell which is attached to our living room light fixture. This was quickly deemed unnecessary because I could soon hear it since everything was shaking so much. We live on the 9th floor of our building and usually when we get quakes the whole building will just sway, the blinds might click a little, and you'll feel slightly dizzy, and up until today I had never felt anything higher than a 5.6 .... today was different... today things fell off the walls, drinking glasses rattled in the cabinets, the earthquake bell rang and I stood poised between the living room and the fire escape with a cat under each arm debating weather or not I should go for it. I didn’t end up going anywhere... I froze like a deer in headlights staring out the window at the trees shaking on the ground below me. I flipped through the Japanese stations which were all showing footage of the quake and eventually discovered that it was a 6.8 and centered right in the Kanto region which is right where I live... I believe there are Tsunami warnings out as well. We're far enough inland to be safe, but still... there was my adrenaline rush for the day. ::sigh::
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Safe and Sound Current mood: dorky
Hey everyone! Ok so ya I haven’t seen a computer that was connected to the internet in almost a week now... I keep twitching. We're trying to save some mula so we had our cable disconnected was nearly 60 bucks a month! Damn that monopoly on base. So here I am in the library franticly trying to bang a few words out on the keyboard in less than an hour. We should be getting dial-up here soon so I'll be a little bit more reachable... slow but reachable. Who needs to online game anyways. I'm kind of adjusting to the time change. Doesn’t help that I keep taking naps at all random times of the day, but heck what better things do I have to do anyways.
OMG! One thing that has made me insanely happy though is that they have Passions over her now! Yay! I get to keep up on my ultra cheesy soap!
Kitties are doing well... Thorn is even heavier than he was last time. Much to his distress we have started a kitty diet for him and have made an appt for the vet so we can figure out why he is inflating faster than the Goodyear Blimp.... could be Ryan's soft spot for Thorn's sweet tooth...
We were welcomed back to Japan with a massive earthquake within an hour of our plane landing... turbulence in air and turbulence on land... I can’t win.
Sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye to many of you. Things were quite hectic the last week I was home and I thought it best if I concentrated on not scaring those around me with my obsessive compulsive packing habits.
Lastly... I'll be home Sept 23rd with hopefully three kitties in tow... that will be one to remember.
I look forward to seeing all of you when I get back! I'll be moving in to a townhouse on the west side Oct 1st so we'll have to cook out or something.
*Love n Hugs*
Kristen
P.S. Ben and Jesse have a wonderful adventure!!!
Friday, June 10, 2005
I bet you think this blog is about you... Current mood: stressed
Okie... I feel I need to clarify a few things about my last blog. I was flooded with e-mails today from a variety of people who think that they're the reason for my stress... and let me just say that while it may be a combination of many people, it really just boils down to me. Yes, this is my moment to say it's not about you... or you or you or you.... it is about ME. I think I need to take a few more moments like that. I'm so busy filling other people's needs that I plumb forgot that sometimes it's healthy to be selfish... so here's my declaration...
I may be depressed... but I own it... it's my depression... no one else's... If I don’t feel like talking to anyone then I'm not going to. I'll talk about things when I feel like talking about them. If I feel like staying in my jammies all day then I'll do that too. And if I want to sit alone in the dark and drink a glass of wine while trying to sort out my feelings online then don’t worry about me... I'm trying to deal with things. How do I know what I think until I see what I say?
Thank you for all of you who were concerned. I know that you love me and you'll have your Kristen back soon. I just need a while to recharge... maybe another glass of wine will help.
Love you all,
Kristen
Currently listening:No 4By Stone Temple PilotsRelease date: 26 October, 1999
Thursday, June 09, 2005
The art of taking a moment Current mood: discontent
::lifts wine glass to her lips::
ahh... sweet floral bliss. Nothing sooths me or puts my life better into perspective than drinking alone... and that is not meant in any other way than it is stated.
I'm becoming numb. And it's not from what I am drinking. Simply too many things to deal with and too many emotions to suppress.
A constant barrage of thoughts and outside comments:
Smile Kristen... Shouldn’t you be happy Kristen? Shouldn’t you be upset? Why are you not angry? Do you love me? Do you care? Do you miss me? Come help me, now go away I didn’t mean for you to help me this much. Cry, don’t cry. Be strong because I'm not. Be weak because I tell you to be... be weak because that is all I see you as capable of being. Have fun, but not too much. Be jealous. Be alone. Step up. Step down.
Dance for the people...
Right stage... Left stage... Take a moment... and bow.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Books Current mood: thoughtful
Ok so I need book ideas people.. I need good stuff to read... I've been reading like crazy lately so send me your choices! Here are a few good ones I've read lately. Mark of the Lion trilogy (best books I have read... EvEr) Eragon- written by a 15 year old boy but still very good Liquor- Poppy Z Brite in the food scene minus the kinky sex Prime- sequel to Liquor Hope Rising- story of an equine rescue Portrait of Dorian Grey- old and good and sadistic Oliver Twist- Please sir... no more... The works of Edgar Allen Poe- highly recommended... after you're done PMSing Mauz I and II - graphic novel about the holocaust... awesome symbolism Please Please give me some ideas! I love Fantasy and historical fiction but anything good will do =) Love you all! K
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Komichiwa! Current mood: bouncy
Yeah! Back in Japan for a couple weeks. Actually my time is almost up but at least I've been keeping myself busy (no I haven’t been chasing Tanuki's again). I've mostly been cooking and playing with my kitties but I did brave the transit system and visit Kamakura. It's kind of the Japanese version of a tourist town filled with street vendors and Americanized food places but it was still really fun. I got to go into two monasteries and watch a chanting ceremony and then I visited the Great Buddha which is a lot bigger close up. It was really easy to see why people can get so caught up in Buddhism... it' s such a peaceful religion full of ceremony, tradition, and very impressive structures... not all that unlike Catholicism. It gave one pause to think. Anyways, it's been a great visit but I look forward to coming home for a few days before heading out to Boston for my Nana's 80th b-day. Hope everyone is doing well! Love you! Kristen
Currently listening:Korn - Greatest Hits, Vol. 1By KornRelease date: 05 October, 2004
Saturday, March 05, 2005
I quit. Current mood: drained
I Hereby Resign... To Whom It May Concern: I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again. I want to go to a fast food place, and think that it's a four-star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think that small candies are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big Oak tree and watch the ants march up its trunk. I want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day. I want to think a quarter is worth more than a dollar bill 'cause it's prettier and weighs more. I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all I knew were colors, addition tables, and nursery rhymes. When I didn't know what I know now. I want to believe that the world is fair. I want to believe that everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to naively think that everyone else is happy because I'm happy. I want to again be able to walk on the beach and only think of the sand between my toes, and the prettiest seashell I can find. I would again like to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike. I wouldn't worry about time, bills, or where I was going to find the money to fix my car. I would wonder what I would do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out. I want to live simple.....yeah.....simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and the loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, dreams, peace, justice, love, the imagination, mankind, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, a kiss that makes a boo boo go away, making angels in the snow, and that my parents are the strongest and smartest people in the world. I want to be 6 again. So...here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit cards and the bills too, my 401K statements, my stocks & bonds, my collections, my insurance premiums, my job, my e-mail address, pager, cell phone, computer, and watch. I quit.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Low Millions and BFS Current mood: full
Woo hoo! Went to go see Low Millions and Bowling for Soup last night... one of those last min free ticket kind of things. I was actually impressed... and more so by Low Millions than by BFS. It's always so wonderful to be around a band that is just starting to get some attention... they still appreciate it and haven’t gotten too good to talk to their fans. They all hung around in the crowd before and after their set and signed autographs... even seeking out the people that danced all during their set in order to thank them and give them a free autographed CD... not any one in particular here ... ::Coff:: me::Coff:: Such sweeties. Anyways not much else going on around here... still really frickin cold and wet. I am ready for warmer weather.... really ready. Love you all, ::MuAh:: Kristen
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Japan Again...
ok all so I'm heading back to Japan for a week. So if I don’t respond I'm not being rude.. just foregin =) Love you all! First quote in a long ass time: "Pitty Titties!!!" - Author's name withheld for their protection =)
